finding a foothold

you know how it is when you have been planning to do something for the longest time but just didnt get down to doing it.. while this is it for me. i have been planning to write since 2008.. yes.. go ahead call me lazy.  I can attribute the delay to my indecisiveness of the medium, the subject etc etc. But here i am all geared up and ready to roll.

The urge to write has always been there, mainly because i am a voracious reader. But ever since my baby was born i felt i couldnt do without it. I did too, mainly on paper, but often felt the need for feedback , not in terms of assessment but reaching out to somebody in the whole wide world who probably felt the same way i did. Writing was more of an emotional need than anything else. I didnt have any other interest ... achieving  literary recognition or any commercial interest.

There are articles i come across which deal the subject of HAPPINESS. Well, if somebody asked me, "Are you happy ?" I would say "Certainly", but this question always set me thinking am i really ? What is happiness? Is my neighbour who is constantly smiling and laughing happy ? Is my mom happy ?  Is the super successful corporate woman happy ? Or is the Mata/Devi so & so happy ?

How to achieve this state is sometimes broken down to "TO DO STEPS". Get up take charge of your life.....its in your hand.....make other people happy etc etc.. A lot of this is true, but honestly i just havent found the energy to do it.
I recently read an article in theTimes of India which took to review the film 'Eat Pray Love". The article discussed how every individual should delve deep within and find the one word that can describe them, their morals, their values, their guiding light, the one thing that shapes their lives. The writer found that people around her found it difficult to find that one word. They always came up with a whole lot of adjectives, but never one word.
On some reflection, when i thought about it, i immediately came up with that one word for me.

SELF RESPECT

And the more i thought about it , the more i realised how right i had been in this self assessment. This one word also sums up the root of happiness for me.

I am glad i got something right the first time...